We are afraid of the wrong things

I’m not afraid of growing old at all – what I’m afraid of is how it will make me feel! If I look at it closely, there are two effects of growing old that I fear – one is a decline in physical appearance, and the other is a decline in physical ability. I’ve already found a ton of evidence of people in their 70′s, 80′s and 90′s doing amazing things physically so the latter one is not so much of a concern now but I don’t see any evidence of 80 year olds who still look 20! However, do I even care what I look like? If I really think about it, all I care about is that I like the way I look and that other people like the way I look (ego I know!! – another post!)
What this line of reasoning made me realise was that instead of trying to battle an impossible fear – of something that was totally inevitable, could I instead reframe it as a fear of something that I can change. I don’t fear looking older, I fear not liking the way I look as I grow older and that is something that I can definitely work on!
This brings me round to my second fear of losing people close to me. What I fear is not the loss itself, but how that loss will make me feel – lonely, devastated, empty, depressed and so on. Yet there are many people who have experienced loss of loved ones and then find their peace with that and go on to live happy lives.